November 30,2009

Mmmm. Butter.

November 16, 2009

Today Jack and I snuggled up together with the best snack ever: a stick of butter. One for him and one for me.

Mmmmm.

October 23, 2009

I thought I'd eat some diaper rash cream and cut out the middle man.




No more pictures, please. I have things to do.

August 10, 2009

I was having so much fun when my dad walked into the kitchen. This is what I heard:

Dad: *extreme gasp*

Mom: *sigh* Did you find out why he's been quiet for more than five minutes?

Dad: Yep.

Mom: Do I want to know?

Dad: Nope.




My mom is a liar. If she didn't want to know, why did she walk into the kitchen with the camera?



Jack is always raving about this "formula" stuff. Personally, I don't see what the fuss is all about. At least I got a bath out of the deal. Mom told me that if we turned on the jets in the tub it would make a milk shake, but she never turned them on.

August 6, 2009

Mmmmm. Soap.

August 5, 2009

Glass front stove and smooth cupboard doors?

I scale you like a gecko.

Up high cabinet?

I open you with ease.

Child-proof prescription bottle lids?

I mock you.

"Hello Poison Control? This is Adam's mommy......again."

July 8, 2009

I'm a magician!

Daddy put me to bed and then found me fifteen minutes later in the bathroom. I was sitting on the counter getting drinks of water out of the lid to some stuff that Mom has that smells pretty. Mom said it was like I was doing baby shots. Mom is weird.

Mom and Dad can't figure out how I got out of my room. They always shut the door at night and I haven't yet figured out how to open it.

....or have I?

June 1, 2009

Today I found a box of the most beautiful, sparkly things: sequins! I spread the whole box all over Mom's sewing room floor. It looked like the floor was littered with all sorts of precious gems.

Mom picked up all of the pretty sequins and put them back in the box. I tried to decorate the carpet again, but the lid to the box was taped on. Mothers. Grrr.

Mom is always trying to get me to share with Jack, so today I fed him some push pins. Mom took them out of his mouth before he could swallow any. I think Jack was more disappointed than I was.

Daddy shared some ice cream with me. He kept shoving it in my mouth as fast as I could swallow. At first it was great but then all of a sudden OWWWW! It felt like my brain was trying to claw its way out of my forehead. Ice cream should have a warning label. Except I can't read, so that won't do me any good for a few more years.

May 28, 2009

To-Do List For the Day:


1. Pour liquid dish soap on the carpet.
Check.

2. Scrape, crumble and smear Dad's new deodorant into the carpet.
Check.

3. Repeatedly point at my nipples and say "bippo."
Check.

4. Find Mom's secret stash of cookies and help myself.
Check-a-roo.

5. Unroll approximately 10 yards of Christmas wrapping paper onto the kitchen floor.
Check.

6. Ride in a giant tractor with my dad.
Check!

7. Eat some mud.
Check.

Whew! This terrible-two business is exhausting.

May 24, 2009

Today I found a teeny little tube of some delicious stuff. So I bit the tube until it broke and I sucked all the stuff out. It was making a funny sucking sound so I just had to show Mom. She grabbed the tube from me and washed my hands and face. She said something to Dad about hair clipper lubricating oil. She also told him that it was his turn to call Poison Control.

I think it's great that my parents take turns.

May 13, 2009

Tore pages from Mike's Ripley's book. Made the sad face and cried when Mom scolded me. Continued to cry off and on for an hour whenever Mom looked at me, even though I had forgotten the original reason for crying.

Insisted that Jack share his Stage One Gerber applesauce with me. Baby food is goooood.

Rearranged Mom's wallet because I can never find anything in there when I need it.

Discovered the joys of self-portraiture.