Friday, October 23, 2009

October 23, 2009

I thought I'd eat some diaper rash cream and cut out the middle man.

No more pictures, please. I have things to do.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

October 15, 2009

Danger Boy has found a new lair.

What's this? Captain Mischief has discovered my lair.

I think we might make a good team....

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

October 14, 2009

This morning Jack and I woke up to find the house nice and tidy. All of the toys were put away. The dishes were done, the floor swept, the carpet vacuumed.

It was like a blank canvas, beckoning us to fill it with mischief and mayhem.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

October 8, 2009 Part II

I forgot to mention that a couple of weeks ago, I threw up one and a half sippy cups full of milk all over my mom.

In public.

In the foyer of a restaurant.

Suddenly no one was hungry but me so we went home. Boy, did we stink.

I got to take a bath with Mom. I raced her to the tub and did a cannonball into it because it was so full. I wrapped my arms around my knees and everything.

Then I filled up our rinsing cup with water and dumped it on the floor. Mom got mad and made me stop. Then I took little sips of water from the rinsing cup and spit them on the floor. She didn't like that either. So I soaked up some water with the washcloth and let it drip on the floor. Mom got mad again and made me stop again. I swear that woman has eyes in the back of her head.

She didn't say much about my little splashes after that. Compared to the cannonball they were nothing.

Sometimes my mom is no fun at all.

October 8, 2009

Today I decided to do a little landscaping in the living room, so I got my big ol' Tonka truck and dumped a full load of dirt right in front of the couch. Jack sat in it and ate some. We're a great team.

Then mom destroyed all of my work and I got to spend the rest of the day at Papa's house.

On the way home, we saw a helicopter right out my stinking window!

It's been a good day.

Monday, October 5, 2009

October 5, 2009

Dear Son,

I know that you enjoy playing on the washing machine. I know that it makes you feel big and gives you a different vantage point. I suspect that you enjoy the element of danger that it presents as well. But you have to stop thrashing about when I remove you from the top of the washer. I'm a full grown woman, but I'm finding it harder and harder to keep hold of 25 pounds of wildly bucking toddler. You are lucky that we made it to the carpet before my grip gave out.

Additionally, when you are thrashing and kicking, your baby brother usually suffers several blows to the head, as he always wants to be where you are. Please consider others in your actions.

It is not safe to play in the dryer with the door closed. I shudder to think of the possible results of that action. Please stop.

The chairs in our house each have their own place and I would appreciate if they would stay in their respective spots instead of being used to assist you in climbing to various heights.

Last of all, I know that you love to be outside. I know that you are proud of your new-found ability to open doors and the deadbolt. But, Son, when it's thirty degrees and snowing, a diaper and one sock are not enough protection from the elements. Please stay inside.


Your Mother

P.S. A diaper change does not present any threat to your life, so please stop acting as such.