Wednesday, December 30, 2009

December 30, 2009

A few days ago, I washed the mirror in the bathroom with Mommy's yummy-smelling vanilla soap. I washed the counter, too. While I was up there, I decided to poke around in the medicine cabinet. I found these funny little plastic circles in water. Water should go down the drain instead of staying the cabinet where it might make a mess.

The next day I heard Mommy ask "...where are my contact lenses?"

Hmm. I wonder what contact lenses are.

Monday, December 14, 2009

December 14, 2009

Today Jack and I decided to make an omelet for Mom. We got out two cartons of eggs, one for Jack and one for me. The tile floor in the kitchen seemed like a good place to make the omelet so I opened up the cartons and Jack and I each grabbed two eggs.

Then Mom caught us and made us stop after only cracking one egg.

What kind of omelet can you make with one stinking egg?

December 12, 2009

I am such a big helper. Just the other day I heard my mom say how it seemed like she could never stay caught up on laundry so I decided that I needed to do something to help her out.

The washing machine was full of Mike's clothes so I threw in a towel and a few wash cloths. Then I added about a pound of laundry detergent and a liberal amount of bleach.

These pants are totally still wearable.

This is Mike's favorite Star Wars shirt. I think the bleach spots on the shoulder add to the edgy bounty hunter look, don't you?

If I had been just a little more thorough, Mike would have a nice pair of shorts.

Did anyone else know that bleach is corrosive?

Note From Mom
***Before I get comments on what kind of horrible mother would have dangerous chemicals where her toddler could reach them and thus laden heaping piles of guilt on my head (like I haven't already done that myself) let me state the facts:
  1. The bleach and laundry detergent were on a shelf above my washing machine, a full five feet off of the ground.
  2. The bleach has a child proof (*scoff*) lid that was screwed on tightly.
  3. As near as I can figure, he pushed a bucket to the washing machine and climbed up that way.
  4. All of this was accomplished in a matter of minutes.
  5. Duct taping this child to a chair for all of his waking minutes is the only real way of keeping him out of trouble, and even then I'm not so sure that would do the trick.
I'm just grateful that the only real consequences were a few pieces of ruined clothing. We really can't do much more than keep a sharp eye on him, be grateful that it wasn't worse and laugh when it seems that crying would make more sense.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

December 8, 2009

Tonight I played with Mike's light saber.

So did Jack.

He hasn't learned how to duck yet.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

December 3, 2009

I made up a new game. I call it "Run Away".

  1. When Mom says "Let's change your diaper" or "Let's get dressed" run away.
  2. Whenever possible, open the door and run outside. Get as far away from the house as you can.
  3. Don't underestimate the value of a good distraction. Little brothers, spilled bowls of cereal and puddles of urine all offer a great opportunity to begin the game.
  4. When Mom gets you out of the car and is busy getting your little brother out of his car seat, get as far away from her as you can before she discovers that you're gone. Bonus points if you venture into traffic.
  5. If Mom's hands are full and you're headed to the car to go bye-bye, use this golden opportunity to disappear. You can find a neat bug or play with your outside dump truck or look at the fish in the pond. Just stay away from Mom.
  6. Once Mom realizes that you are running away, shriek and continue to distance yourself from her. If she tries to get you to willingly come back, yell "NO!" in your most authoritative voice. Continue running in the opposite direction.
  7. Be warned: she will use all of the Mom-tricks in her bag. Coaxing, demanding, asking nicely, bribery - nothing is beneath a mother. Bonus points if you get her to cry.
  8. Keep it up. She won't be able to out-run you forever.