July 19, 2009

Dirt, water and soot are my favorite mediums.

July 16, 2009

Today my siblings and I conducted several experiments to test the limits of our mother.

That woman is stronger than she looks.

Blast. Operation "Push Mom Over the Edge" may be harder than we originally thought.

July 15, 2009

Not much new to report.

Mom got rid of her wallet. The weight that has been lifted off of my shoulders is incredible. Now I no longer have to rearrange everything on a daily basis.

My baby brother has started to crawl. I've been conducting experiments to test his agility, speed, pain tolerance and digestive ability. He appears to be shaping up to be an exceptional side kick.

I have discovered the secret of defying gravity. More than once Mom has come into the kitchen to find me sitting on the counter and playing in the sink, with no sign of a stool or chair or any hint of how I got up there. I will take my secrets with me to the grave.

I have the four eldest members of my family trained to obey my every whim. I merely yell "Tee Bee!" and someone turns on the magic picture box. I don't even have to specify that I'd like to watch Spongebob, that's how well trained they are. As soon as the word "cows" escapes my lips, they are scrambling to find my snuggly cozy cows blanket.

Soon, Jack will have grown in power and together we will bring this family to its knees.

July 8, 2009

I'm a magician!

Daddy put me to bed and then found me fifteen minutes later in the bathroom. I was sitting on the counter getting drinks of water out of the lid to some stuff that Mom has that smells pretty. Mom said it was like I was doing baby shots. Mom is weird.

Mom and Dad can't figure out how I got out of my room. They always shut the door at night and I haven't yet figured out how to open it.

....or have I?

July 7,2009

I died today.

There is no other explanation for the place I was in, other than I had died and gone to heaven.

Mom says it was just the John Deere dealer, but I'm pretty sure I heard angels singing.

July 3, 2009

I decided to be a very big, helpful boy today and wash myself and my clothes.

I climbed into the empty tub with all of my clothes on. I decided that I needed to use a little bit or maybe a lot of each of the different soaps, conditioners and shampoos. I had my self all good and lathered up and wanted to show Daddy how big I was but I couldn't get out of the tub. I was too slippery. It scared me and so I cried until Noel came and rescued me. Then Daddy took off all of my clothes and washed me.

I guess he didn't understand that I had already done that.

July 2, 2009

Parts is parts.

July 1, 2009

Mom says that most people find spare change in their couch.

I think this is better.