Today mom made me a turkey, cheese and pickle sandwich for lunch. It was yummy! I pulled the sandwich apart, ate the turkey and cheese, smeared the mayo from one piece of bread onto my head and arms and smeared the other piece of bread on the table. Then I took the orange that mom gave me and squeezed all of the juice out. Some of the juice got on me, some on my sandwich and some went on Spanky.
Then mom gave me a bath! A bath in the middle of the day! She put in some bubbles for me and then she sat and played with Jack while I splashed. Mom was busy singing songs to Jack so I took the opportunity to pour half of the new bottle of shampoo into the tub and turn on the jets. I love bubbles!
That's when mom decided that it was time for my bath to be done. It figures. Just as soon as it gets good she takes me out. Mom wrapped me in a towel and let me run out to the living room while she got some clean clothes for me. I was pushing my tractor and felt something funny in my bum. I squatted down to check things out when mom walked into the room. She said my whole name (including my middle name!) and then drug me back to the bathroom for another tubby. This time, she didn't fill up the tub. She just washed my stinky bum and legs. When she took me back out of the tub, she wouldn't even let me run around naked. She put a diaper on me immediately. Geez. It was just two piles of diarrhea on the carpet, and one of them wasn't even that big.
Mom cleaned up my mess with some stuff that smelled good and some paper towels. Then she took all of the stinky stuff outside. While she was gone, I thought I'd help her by getting some more paper towels ready. I unrolled the rest of them off of the cardboard tube. Boy, there sure were a lot of paper towels.
When Mom came back in the house, she called me by all three names again, put my clothes on me and sent me to bed.
Mom never appreciates anything that I do for her.